Allow us to introduce you to Brian Costello, a writer for the New York Post who is having a really difficult time dealing with life without Kirk Cousins.
Costello, mad because Cousins picked the Vikings over the Jets, wrote a scathing piece in the Post that's about as petulant as a 17-month-old child getting angry because mom and dad won't let her put batteries in her mouth – trust me, I know.
Are you kidding? Choosing Minnesota over the greatest city in the world? Choosing a place where fine cuisine is a Juicy Lucy (don’t ask) and high-end shopping is going to Target? Remember, Robert Zimmerman left Minnesota to become Bob Dylan in Greenwich Village. Do you enjoy temperatures below zero all winter, Kirk? Minnesota has 10,000 lakes. You know what comes with 10,000 lakes? About 1,000,000 mosquitoes. Cousins chose the Mall of America over Madison Avenue. Enough said."
A few things here....
- Juicy Lucy's are amazing, much better that a hot dog off the street.
- If Bob Dylan had grown up in New York he'd probably be selling hot dogs on the street, not entertaining millions.
- It's only been below zero about 25 times this winter. That's better than getting hammered by home-destroying nor'easter winter storms.
- There are way more than 1 million mosquitos here.
Costello then said the Jets won't be "Minnesota Nice" to Cousins when he and the Vikings play in New York next season.
Costello does realized that Minnesota is stacked and the Jets suck, right? Well, maybe he doesn't. But he'll soon find out.