Professor Wessel: Dana goes deep on "The Mighty Ducks"

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Gordon Bombay and his scrappy team of skating hooligans are back in the news, thanks to ABC Studios apparently working on a TV series based around the classic '90s film trilogy The Mighty Ducks. Go 96.3's Dana Wessel just so happens to be one of the nation's foremost TMD scholars, and we couldn't resist this opportunity republish his seminal research.

I was daydreaming about The Mighty Ducks movies the other day. Nothing new. This happens quite often. But I began wondering who scored the most goals and which goal I thought was the most important in the series.

I decided to do the research, rank the goals, and open up the debate. What follows is the product of some very intense research and what I want to be remembered for someday. This is my Mona Lisa.

Here are some overall stats from the three movies before we get to the rankings themselves.

Total goals in the thrillogy:

  • 38 goals

Goals per movie:

  • The Mighty Ducks: 14
  • D2: The Mighty Ducks: 16 goals (12 regulation + 4 shootout)
  • D3: The Mighty Ducks: 8 goals

Goals by team:

  • District 5: 0
  • Mighty Ducks: 14
  • Team USA: 8
  • USA Ducks: 4 goals in regulation + 4 shootout goals.
  • Eden Hall Warriors JV: 7
  • Eden Hall Ducks: 1

Number of Ducks that scored:

  • 14

Number of Ducks that never scored:

  • 5

Number of Ducks that score in all three movies:

  • 1 - Fulton Reed

High scorer:

  • Adam Banks with 8 goals

Goals by gender:

  • Male: 35
  • Female: 3 (Moreau 2, Duncan)

Most goals scored in a single game (player):

  • Two goals four separate times
  • Adam Banks vs Hornets in The Mighty Ducks
  • Adam Banks vs Iceland (regulation + shootout) in D2: The Mighty Ducks
  • Charlie Conway vs Blake Bears JV in D3: The Mighty Ducks
  • Fulton Reed vs Blake Bears JV in D3: The Mighty Ducks

Most goals scored in a single game (team):

  • 11-0 vs Italy in D2: The Mighty Ducks

Most goals given up in a single game (team):

  • 17 vs Hawks in The Mighty Ducks

First goal scored:

  • Jesse Hall in a 2-2 tie with the Cardinals in The Mighty Ducks

Final goal scored:

  • Greg Goldberg in 1-0 win over Eden Hall Varsity in D3: The Mighty Ducks

Scoring list:

1. Adam Banks - 8 goals

2. Fulton Reed - 6 goals

Tie 3. Charlie Conway - 3 goals

Tie 3. Kenny Wu - 3 goals

Tie 3. Guy Germaine - 3 goals

Tie 3. Jesse hall - 3 goals

Tie 7. Luis Mendoza - 2 goals

Tie 7. Lester Averman

Tie 7. Connie Moreau - 2 goals

Tie 7. Russ Tyler - 2 goals

Tie 11. Dean Portman - 1 goal

Tie 11. Tammy Duncan - 1 goal

Tie 11. Greg Goldberg - 1 goal

Tie 11. Dwayne Robertson - 1 goal

Tie 15. Terry Hall - 0 goals

Tie 15. Tommy Duncan - 0 goals

Tie 15. Dave Karp - 0 goals

Tie 15. Peter Mark - 0 goals

Tie 15. Julie ‘The Cat’ Gaffney - 0 goals

Alright! Onto the rankings. I welcome any and all banter if you don’t disagree.

Couple things we need to establish about how I went about this research.

  • I only counted goals that were scored in official games with scoreboards and refs. Therefore any goal scored in practice, Los Angeles street hockey pickup games, or unsanctioned games against the Eden Hall Academy varsity team aren’t on here.
  • I only included the goals we see get scored in the movies. Often times they show clips of a game before flashing the final score. Obviously we don’t know who scored the other goals so they aren’t included.
  • My rankings here don’t reflect the amount of skill or any aesthetic beauty a goal had. I ranked the goals strictly on how important they were to the overall mythology of the Mighty Ducks universe.
  • The number in parentheses after a player’s name represents which number goal it was for him/her.

Nos. 38-32

Goal: Charlie Conway (2 & 3) and Fulton Reed (5 & 6) scored twice. Kenny Wu (3), Luis Mendoza (2), and Dwayne Robertson (1) each score once in a 9-9 tie vs the Blake Bears JV

Comments: By far the most meaningless game of the entire series. A random JV game with nothing on the line? Only one of two hockey games in the final film.

No. 31

Goal: Greg Goldberg (1) in a 1-0 win over the Eden Hall Academy Warriors Varsity.

Movie: D3: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: One of the dumbest goals in the series ends the worst of the three movies. In the grand scheme of things, this win doesn’t mean much. They already got their scholarships reinstated. This was essentially just a scrimmage with a little more pride on the line than usual. Of the three final games this was one had by far the least at stake. I also argue that this game was less important than any game in the first two films.

No. 30

Goal: Adam Banks (6) in a 12-1 loss to Iceland

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Team USA’s only goal in the first game against Iceland. Meaningless goal. This one is best known for the wrist injury Banks picks up while getting slashed in the celly.

No. 29

Goal: Fulton Reed (3) in an 11-0 win over Italy

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Slapper from the blue line to make it 7-0. Meaningless goal, but notable for being Fulton's first of the second film and the only one shown in this route.

No. 28

Goal: Kenny Wu (1) scores in a 9-2 win over Trinidad & Tobago

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: It’s only significance is it’s Wu’s first goal. Besides that it’s just the third and final goal shown in a 9-2 win.

No. 27

Goal: Dean Portman (1) scores in a 9-2 win over Trinidad & Tobago

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Portman nets his first in the series. This one has some importance because it’s the introduction of Portman and Reed as The Bash Brothers.

No. 26

Goal: Connie Moreau (1) scores the opening goal of a 9-2 win over Trinidad & Tobago.

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Connie’s first goal of the series and second goal ever by a female Duck. First goal of the second movie. Trinidad & Tobago is, uh, not historically a very good hockey nation.

No. 25-24

Goal: Adam Banks scores twice (2 & 3) in a win over the Hornets in the quarterfinals of the state tournament.

Comments: You forget how many goals Banks scores than everyone else until you rewatch all these games in quick succession. This game was shown in montage fashion.

No. 23

Goal: Lester Averman (1) adds another in the win over the Hornets in the quarterfinals of the state tournament.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Averman scores his first goal in the 5-3 playoff win over the Hornets.

No. 22

Goal: Lester Averman (2) in a 3-2 win over Germany

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Second ever Flying V goal! Averman scores the winner in the game that Bombay inexplicably showed up halfway through blowing a duck call after Michelle McKay had to coach the team before he got there.

No. 21

Goal: Adam Banks (7) cuts Iceland’s lead to 5-3 in the Junior Goodwill Games final

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: This was the “alley-oop” play that Charlie drew up from the bench where Dwayne flips the puck in the air from center ice and Banks tips it in. One of the dumbest goals of the movie and just a way to make Charlie look involved from the bench.

No. 20

Goal: Luis Mendoza (1) scores against Iceland to cut the deficit to 5-4.

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Mendoza learns how to stop at the perfect time. So ridiculous. How was this dude on the team again?

No. 19

Goal: Adam Banks (4) opens the scoring against the Cardinals in the semifinals.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Who else but Banksy to get the Ducks on the board in the semifinals of the state tournament? His fourth goal of his Ducks career.

No. 18

Goal: Guy Germaine (2) adds to Banks’ tally to beat Cardinals 4-2 in the semifinals to set up the rematch against the Hawks.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Guy breaks a scoreless streak that lasted since the last time these two teams faced off.

No. 17

Goal: Russ Tyler (1) in a 3-2 win over Russia

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: The first Knuckle Puck goal! Russ Tyler fills in for an injured Banks and scores the goal that sends Team USA to the Junior Goodwill Game Final against Iceland

No. 16

Goal: Adam Banks equalizes against the Huskies to make it 1-1 in a must-win game to make the playoffs.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Banks’ first of a team-high eight goals throughout the three movies.

No. 15

Goal: Kenny Wu (2) scores Team USA’s first goal in the Junior Goodwill Games final against Iceland.

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: The opening goal of the final against Iceland. Badly needed since the Ducks were already down 4-0.

No. 14

Goal: Fulton Reed (2) scores right after Banks is carted off the ice in the state final against the Hawks.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Reed chips away at the Hawks deficit to make it 3-2 in the final. This is Reed’s second in a Ducks uniform and came just after Banks was taken out of the game.

No. 13

Goal: Tammy Duncan (1) gets the Ducks within a goal of the Hawks in the state final 4-3.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: This was the goal where Tammy Duncan distracted the Hawks with her figure skating spins before sliding in an easy goal. The first in the series for a female and the only for either of the Duncan siblings as neither was back for the second or third movie.

No. 12

Goal: Connie Moreau (2) to start the third period after switching uniforms against Iceland.

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: First goal scored in the USA Ducks uniforms and Connie’s second of the series. Made it 4-2 Iceland and changed the momentum of the game.

No. 11

Goal: Guy Germaine (1) in a 2-2 tie vs Cardinals

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: This goal earned a draw to give the Ducks their first ever point. Crucial to the team overtaking the Huskies for the final playoff spot and starting their run towards the state title.

No. 10

Goal: Adam Banks (5) gets taken out but scores anway against the Hawks in the state final.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Banks opened the scoring for the Ducks to cut the deficit to 3-1. This was the goal he had to be carted out after. That little weiner Hawk asks his teammate what he did and he replies “My job.” I wanted to kill that kid when I first saw the movie. I love when Banks asks if it went in while he is laying on the stretcher. Badass Cake Eater.

No. 9

Goal: Jesse Hall (1) in a 2-2 tie vs the Cardinals.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: The first goal ever scored in the series belongs in the top 10. Maybe should even be higher. Jesse Hall has the honors of scoring the first goal.

No. 8

Goal: Russ Tyler (2) shoots a Knuckle Puck wearing goalie pads to tie Iceland at five in the end of regulation in the Junior Goodwill Games Final.

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: In a series filled with improbable and illegal goals, this one was the most improbable and illegal. So of course it belongs pretty high on the list. Goldberg and Russ Tyler somehow change pads in 20 seconds in front of the bench without anyone noticing. Whatever. USA Ducks tie Iceland to send it to a shootout.

Nos. 7-4

Goal: Jesse Hall (3), Guy Germaine (3), Fulton Reed (4) and Adam Banks (8) with shootout goals in a 5-5 shootout win vs Iceland in the Junior Goodwill Games final

Movie: D2: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Too tough to separate the four shootout goals (Dwayne was the lone miss) against Iceland so I lumped them all together. Obviously Julie ‘The Cat’ gets all the glory for her glove-save against Gunnar Stahl but she never has that opportunity if these four don’t score.

No. 3

Goal: Jesse Hall (2) ties the state final against the Hawks 4-4

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: The first Flying V!!!! The goal that set up Charlie’s penalty shot to finish off the dreaded Hawks. Had to be in the top three.

No. 2

Goal: Charlie Conway (1) penalty shot to beat Hawks in the state championship game.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: I argue that winning the state title was a much bigger deal than winning Junior Goodwill Games. This was Charlie’s biggest goal in the series and the one that provided all that warm-fuzzy symmetry with him scoring a goal in the same circumstances where Bombay hit the post in all those years ago.

No. 1

Goal: Fulton Reed (1) in a 2-1 win over the Huskies to clinch a playoff spot.

Movie: The Mighty Ducks

Comments: Gave the Ducks the win over the Huskies that put them into the playoffs. This is the most important goal in Ducks history. If they don’t beat the Huskies there is nothing else. No state title over the Hawks. No Minnesota Miracle Man. No Junior Goodwill Games. No Bash Brothers. No scholarships to Eden Hall. This goal put the rest of the series in motion. Without it the Ducks probably all end up spending the rest of their teenage years putting dog poop in purses and looking for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues instead of kicking ass at hockey.

There are my rankings. Please voice any disagreements you may have. I love Mighty Ducks banter!

The Mighty Ducks

Games:

  1. Loss vs Hawks 17-0. First game we see our heroes play. They are still going by District Five.
  2. Loss vs unknown team by an unknown score. Charlie refuses to take a dive and gets yelled at by Bombay in their final game as District Five.
  3. Tie vs Cardinals 2-2. Enter the Ducks! This is the game where they warm up with footballs and it’s also Fulton’s first game.
  4. Loss by forfeit to the Flames after only Charlie and Fulton come out of the locker room to play.
  5. Win vs Huskies 2-1 to clinch a spot in the playoffs after the Panthers come down with the measles and forfeit the season
  6. Win vs Hornets 5-3 to advance in the playoffs. We only see three of the five goals, two from Banks and one from Averman.
  7. Win vs Cardinals 4-2 to advance to play the Hawks in the final. Only two goals (Banks, Germaine) are shown.
  8. Win vs Hawks 5-4 to win the Minnesota state championship

Scorers:

  1. Jesse Hall (1) vs Cardinals
  2. Guy Germaine (1) vs Cardinals
  3. Adam Banks (1) vs Huskies
  4. Fulton Reed (1) vs Huskies
  5. Adam Banks (2) vs Hornets
  6. Adam Banks (3) vs Hornets
  7. Lester Averman (1) vs Hornets
  8. Adam Banks (4) vs Cardinals
  9. Guy Germaine (2) vs Cardinals
  10. Adam Banks (5) vs Hawks
  11. Fulton Reed (2) vs Hawks
  12. Tammy Duncan (1) vs Hawks
  13. Jesse Hall (2) vs Hawks
  14. Charlie Conway (1) vs Hawks (penalty shot)

D2: The Mighty Ducks

Games:

  1. Win vs Trinidad & Tobago 9-2 in the opening game of the Junior Goodwill Games. Only three (Moreau, Portman, Wu) of the nine goals are shown.
  2. Win vs Italy 11-0. Only one goal is shown and it’s from Fulton Reed.
  3. Loss vs Iceland 11-1. This was the first game a goalie was able to save one of Fulton's shots. Also notable because Banks gets slashed.
  4. Win vs Germany 3-2. The second ever Flying V goal! Averman has the winner and is the only goal shown in the game.
  5. Win vs Russia 3-2. The first Knuckle Puck goal! Russ Tyler with his first of the series and the only goal shown in the game.
  6. Win vs Iceland 5-5 in a shootout to win the Junior Goodwill Games. Team USA/USA Ducks are Junior Goodwill Game champions!

Scorers:

  1. Connie Moreau (1) vs Trinidad & Tobago
  2. Dean Portman (1) vs Trinidad & Tobago
  3. Kenny Wu (1) vs Trinidad & Tobago
  4. Fulton Reed (3) vs Italy
  5. Adam Banks (6) vs Iceland
  6. Lester Averman (2) vs Germany
  7. Russ Tyler (1) vs Russia
  8. Kenny Wu (2) vs Iceland
  9. Connie Moreau (2) vs Iceland
  10. Adam Banks (7) vs Iceland
  11. Luis Mendoza (1) vs Iceland
  12. Russ Tyler (2) vs Iceland
  13. Jesse Hall (3) shootout goal vs Iceland
  14. Guy Germaine (3) shootout goal vs Iceland
  15. Fulton Reed (4) shootout goal vs Iceland
  16. Adam Banks (8) shootout goal vs Iceland

D3: The Mighty Ducks

Games:

  1. Tie 9-9 vs Blake Warriors JV after up being 9-0. We thankfully are only shown seven of the nine goals. The announce mentions that Conway had a third, but, as per our rules, we don’t count that since we never saw it.
  2. 1-0 win over Eden Hall Warriors Varsity. Greg Goldberg, the former goalie, with the only goal his first goal of the series to beat the varsity.

Scorers:

  1. Charlie Conway (2) vs Blake Bears JV
  2. Kenny Wu (3) vs Blake Bears JV
  3. Luis Mendoza (2) vs Blake Bears JV
  4. Dwayne Robertson (1) vs Blake Bears JV
  5. Fulton Reed (5) vs Blake Bears JV
  6. Fulton Reed (6) vs Blake Bears JV
  7. Charlie Conway (3) vs Blake Bears JV
  8. Greg Goldberg (1) vs Eden Hall Warriors Varsity

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