You probably wouldn't eat five Burger King bacon double cheeseburgers in one sitting.
So it's pretty alarming that you'd consume about the same amount of calories eating just one of Buffalo Wild Wings' new Cheese Curd Bacon Burgers.
That literal whopper of a sandwich is one of the winners of the 2017 Xtreme Eating Awards.
But you probably won't see B Dubs or anyone else on this list make an acceptance speech, because the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) gives out these awards to shame restaurant chains with highly caloric, gut-busting dishes.
They gave out eight of 'em this year – here are the foods available in Minnesota.
IHOP: Cheeseburger Omelette with a side of 3 buttermilk pancakes
Can't decide between lunch and breakfast? You don't have to at IHOP. Nothing like getting in your full day's worth of calories first thing in the morning.
Chili's: Ultimate Smokehouse Combo
A meal too big for a plate, so it comes on a tray. You get to choose three meats – pictured here is ribs, fried chicken tenders, and jalapeño-cheddar smoked sausage – plus roasted street corn, homestyle fries, chili-garlic toast, and garlic dill pickles.
For the same amount of calories, CSPI says you could down three of Chili’s 10-ounce sirloins topped with garlic butter, three orders of loaded mashed potatoes, and three orders of steamed broccoli. We do not recommend that.
Buffalo Wild Wings: Cheese Curd Bacon Burger with a side of fries
We're Minnesotans. It's practically criminal to not love cheese curds. But as mentioned above, this burger on steroids is like eating five BK bacon double cheeseburgers.
If you gotta have it, ditching the fries for a salad couldn't hurt.
The Cheesecake Factory: Pasta Napoletana
The Cheesecake Factory is notorious for their book of a menu and calorie-laden entrees. The Pasta Napoletana is new on the menu this year, and CSPI says the chef who created it wanted to combine a meat lover's pizza with pasta.
If you need 2,000 calories a day, the American Heart Association says you should allow about 13 grams of saturated fat. This pasta has 79.
The Cheesecake Factory: Flying Gorilla
Yep, double whammy for The Cheesecake Factory. This isn't a meal, though it could be, depending on what kind of day you're having.
"It’s like kicking off your meal by pouring a 20 oz. Budweiser over five scoops of Breyers Chocolate ice cream," CPSI says.
(Full disclosure – I used to work at "the factory" and this boozy ice cream drink is delicious. It's also more sugar than you should have in a whole day.)
Dave and Busters: Carnivore Pizzadilla
Okay, pizzadilla is really fun to say and honestly, it looks kind of delicious.
Just save yourself some heartburn and share this with a group of friends while crushing that basketball shooting game to burn off some of the calories.
Texas Roadhouse: Prime Rib dinner
This meal has the highest calorie count on the 2017 awards. CSPI says much of the credit for that goes to the marshmallowy, loaded sweet potato that's drizzled with caramel sauce. Mmm ... dessert with dinner.