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I finally watched 'Star Wars' to see what all the fuss was about – Part 2

One writers quest to understand why people are obsessed with 'Star Wars' continues ... with the prequels.

Since I've never seen Star Wars before, my coworkers are making me watch all the movies.I already finished the original three – you can read my thoughts on those here.

Overall, I enjoyed episodes 4-6 much more than I thought I would. There's a lot I still don't really understand, so hopefully the next three (which happened prior to the ones I just watched?) catch me up a bit. 

Here we go.

Episode I – The Phantom Menace

1. What’s with the accents?

2. I actually can’t understand a word Jar Jar is saying.

3. R2-D2 SAVED THE DAY AGAIN! Man, he’s the MVP.

4. Poor, young Obi-Wan has the worst hair I’ve ever seen.

5. Great, Jabba – the grossest thing ever – is back and the boy is racing. (5 minutes later) The boy is still racing. (3 hours later) No update, he's STILL racing.

6. Anakin: "Will I ever see you again?" Mom: "What does your heart tell you?" WHAT GOOD IS THAT, MOM?!

7. Well, Queen Amidala has a bodyguard stunt double. I feel like this revelation tried to be significant, but ended up being a giant belly-flop. We carry on.

8. At least the battle scenes are kind of OK.

9. I do not believe that child actor. Kids play video games with more gusto than Anakin fights for his life.

10. Were they rewarded with one of those electric current plasma balls? That's better than a trophy any day.

Overall thoughts: This was not good. None of the characters cared (except Liam Neeson and Yoda), and that stupid race scene took up half the movie. P.S. What was the Phantom Menace?

Episode II – Attack of the Clones

1. Lots of government going on in these first movies. I feel like I’m taking a history class. Except none of this actually happened.

2. I like the senator’s character a little better. She doesn't seem quite as brainwashed. Anakin is also a fan.

3. Obi-Wan just shot down a drug dealer (death sticks are drugs, right?) and convinced him to rethink his life. Great use of the Force.

4. So Jar Jar is in control of some government matters now. Everyone is going to die.

5. Is Yoda just taunting Obi-Wan in front of the "younglings?" What a dude.

6. Now that everyone's captured, Anakin decides he has a bad feeling about this. Good thing he’s so perceptive.

7. Another episode, another arm hacked off.

8. OHHH Yoda!!! Is he going to fight? I’ve been waiting for this! YODA IS GOING FOR IT!!!

9. How is there never any blood when people get their limbs hacked off? Anakin should be bleeding to death, but it's like he doesn't even care. Maybe the laser automatically cauterizes the wounds?

10. And this is how the stormtroopers came to be. So many questions answered.

Overall thoughts: This was much better than Phantom Menace. The whole intergalactic government mess really drags on beyond what I think is necessary. But I think this is an important episode to watch. I suddenly understand so much more.

Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

1. Man, everyone's gotten old.

2. R2 is a deadly little thing. Spitting out oil and lighting it on fire. Why wasn't he so BA in the original movies?

3. Wait ... why did Padme dress so crazily when we first met her, and lately she looks normal? And acts normal?

4. So the clones/stormtroopers started out as good guys ...

5. The sith man looks absolutely terrible. Don’t help that thing.

6. Oh, the troopers just turned on everyone. Things are tense!

7. Young Darth just went and killed all kids! What a twisted mess, all this is.

8. I like this episode.

9. Again with the hacking, there go Darth's legs. Now he’s on fire. Only his robotic hand can save him now.

10. Now I know what Darth's deal is. He’s a man, who just has tons of robotic prosthetics to survive.

Overall thoughts: I really liked this movie! It seems like the newer films get a lot of hate, but I would say this and Return of the Jedi are my favorites. There's just a lot of tension and action in this episode. It almost makes me want to rewatch episodes 4-6 again since I finally understand what's going on.

Bonus: Episode VII – The Force Awakens

1. Do I know any of these people? (This bothered me for a very long time.)

2. BB-8! What a cute name for such a cute droid. I love it already, I hope it and R2 get to meet.

3. There's a new bad guy in town. Bet it's someone we know. Probably Han, he's always sucked

4. Dangit, there's Han and Chewie. My predictions are wrong. I kind of like both of them in this one.

5. Han's kid went bad now? Of course he did. Han, you created a monster!

6. What's with the talking orange?

7. THEY'RE MEETING! R2 and BB-8 are meeting!! Cute.

8. Han's evil kid definitely came straight out of a 2006 emo band.

9. Did no one lose a limb? That's so not in tune with the rest of the movies

10. Why are Luke and Rey just staring at each other? Never mind. The end.

Overall thoughts: Although this wasn't my favorite episode, this movie's storyline made the most sense, by far. I really liked how characters would identify creatures and people as we met them. Also, I really want a BB-8.

Final thoughts

Now that I'm officially caught up on Star Wars, I can give my educated opinion on whether or not the movies deserve all the hype. My thoughts:

All the Star Wars madness is well deserved. 

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