Fantasy football bets are known to bring embarrassing punishments to last place finishers, but when fantasy football is coupled with a morning radio show, the antics are taken to a higher, more punishing level.
Just ask Chris Hawkey, part of KFAN's Power Trip Morning Show in the Twin Cities.
Hawkey, who in addition to being a radio personality is a musician, finished last among the show's personalities in a weekly fantasy football competition, and as punishment he was forced to ride a Greyhound bus from Las Vegas back to Minneapolis.
The price of the bus ride was $240, with Greyhound promising trips "as fast as" one day, 12 hours and five minutes. So, yeah, Hawkey had to spend a day and a half on a bus traveling halfway across the country.
He completed the trip and made it back to KFAN's studio in St. Louis Park around 1 a.m. Monday, and the number of incidents along the way will make anyone planning to ride a bus for 1,650 miles think twice.
"One hour in. Lady in front of me loudly rapping with her headphones on as if she’s on here alone," Hawkey said, documenting his experience on Twitter. "Electricity in my seat Not working so phone is dying. Lady behind me coughing. Baby crying."
Among the strange things he experienced:
– Wearing a "I'm here for the gangbang" t-shirt during the ride, which is a quote from the movie "Old School."
– Medical emergency involving one of the bus passengers.
– Being Facetimed by a shirtless Paul Allen vacationing on a beach.
– Watching someone steal a woman's phone and run away only to be chased down by someone else and later arrested.
– Paid extra for priority seating only to be stuck in the second to last row and have a "9,000-year-old woman behind the counter in Vegas" tell him "that don't matter."
"It was a disgusting, horrible bus with fingernails on the floor. It was so full of people that you could not physically have sold one more seat," Hawkey said during the opening segment of Monday's morning show. "No electricity. When I got on the bus for the first however many minutes, there's no air conditioning."
After more than 25 hours on the bus and arriving in Omaha, Hawkey got off during a mandatory rest break and saw someone holding a sign with his picture and name on it.
Little to his knowledge, a Minnesota bus company that heard about his ride home offered to deliver him back to Minneapolis on a first class, private bus with pizza and working charging stations.
The bus company: Jefferson Lines, which took things to another level by gifting Hawkey a "Fantasy Football for Dummies" book and other goods to help him in the future.
Hawkey has since vowed to never play fantasy football again.