Wanted: Nanny for a family in Edina. Pay: $20-an-hour. Duties: Looking after a child, cooking, light cleaning, and having an extremely long list of specific personality traits.
The Craigslist listing for the job has since been removed after it went live on Tuesday and set the the internet abuzz with chatter.
Now a word of caution. Within minutes of this making the rounds on social media, it sparked an effort to track down and identify the poster involved.
We have no interest in identifying them publicly and subjecting them to worst of the internet. We'd rather enjoy the content of their post for what it is: the most Edina thing ever.
The first line gives an indication of what the reader is in for (full post is below):
"As I write this, the countertop installation team is here fixing a little alignment issue they made with our dishwasher. I wish you had booked them and had gotten the dishes done before they came so my husband and I could have spent more time playing with our baby and going through a business training together. :)"
Oh boy, here we go.
The post continues by explaining the kind of person that the nanny must be, and how they should conduct themselves in the home of, by their own description, "definitely the coolest family ever."
"I care a lot about what my house looks like because home is The Most Important to me for a million reasons," it continues. "So if you are the type that 'just doesn’t notice' that you left crumbs on the table, thank u next. If you are going to judge me because I like to wear the occasional high fashion item, you’re on the wrong post."
Next, onto politics, with MAGA likes told they need not apply, same goes with those extolling traditional gender norms ("If you are going to call my daughter a 'princess' or make comments about how to 'act like a lady,' BYE"), while the nanny is also expected to be a good cook and meal prepper.
Things get a little cringe then: "Have you seen Sex and the City? I am looking for the Magda to my Miranda, minus the judgement. Basically, you have to help run the show, and love doing it."
"If you’re going to show up hungover, not for you," – oh come on, this is getting needlessly prescriptive, before the poster throws in some sick driving brags.
"If you talk on the phone while you’re driving and don’t use Bluetooth or if you text at ALL while driving, ever, stop it, because you’re operating heavy machinery and you could kill yourself or someone else, but also, don’t even think of applying. I have never gotten a ticket, I don’t speed, I signal my turns 100 feet ahead, I come to a complete stop. If that bugs you, move on. If you’re going to do anything but that with my daughter in the vehicle, don’t apply, period."
The next stipulation, referencing "passive-aggressive/Minnesota Nice," rules out 99.99 percent of the state.
"If you think it’s cute to toss babies in the air, omg NOPE. If you have a temper; if your blood pressure goes up when a baby cries; if you think it’s funny to joke about hurting babies, GTFO. If you are passive-aggressive/Minnesota Nice and will dislike something, lie about it, and then hold it against us, go make a hot dish in someone else’s oven. We’re straight shooters, but honesty without tact is cruelty."
While it's an enjoyable and very Edina post, it ultimately should be remembered that this is someone trying to find the best person to take care of their children, so you can't blame them from trying to find the absolutely perfect choice.
That said, given their demands, they should probably be offering more than $20-an-hour...