Minnesota Twins broadcaster Dick Bremer has had the privilege of calling every game since 1983. While Bremer has been the voice of the Twins through epic comebacks and division-clinching victories, he's also endured his share of games like Friday night.
With the Kansas City Royals scoring nine runs in the first inning of a 14-5 blowout, Bremer and color commentator Justin Morneau had plenty of time to fill. In a broadcaster's version of climbing a StairMaster, Bremer and Morneau ran through a variety of topics to get through the rest of the game.
The fun began when Tom "Flash" Gordon was watching his son, Nick, in the second inning. As the elder Gordon sipped on a beer, Morneau made an observation that anyone that was trapped in an empty stadium in 90-degree heat would make.
"[He's] having a nice cold one there," Morneau said. "We could use one of those up here about now."
"A cold ONE?" Bremer replied.
"Well, yeah," Morneau deadpanned. "We better keep it at that."
The following inning, Bremer informed whatever viewers were left that Kansas City was the City of Fountains. Upon learning this, Morneau went into the story of when Jim Thome made Nick Punto swim through one of the city's 200 fountains.
"This was in April...and it was cold," Morneau began. "Anyone that's been in that plaza area, there's a river that runs through that area. We had a team dinner and had one or two of those beverages we saw "Flash" Gordon drinking earlier. We're walking back to the hotel and Thome says "Nicky I want to see you swim that river."
"Thome could get Punto to do just about anything, so what does Nicky do? ... Nicky jumps in, swims across the river, comes up on the other side. All the boys are going nuts. Then, all the sudden he looks at the fountain, runs across the street, jumps in the fountain in front of the hotel. [He] proceeds to walk up the hill and walk up the lobby and people are looking at him and thought he got caught in a rainstorm."
Bremer also pointed out that there was a group of fans at Target Field watching the movie "Little Big League," which encouraged Bremer to reveal his aspirations as an actor.
"But I don't want to be an announcer," Bremer said. "If I'm in a movie, I'd like to be a school teacher or something like that where I'm actually acting. Or trying to act."
"Well, we'll see if Twitter starts blowing up with movie roles start pouring in," Morneau joked. "A fishing guide would be good. You would probably need to learn how to fish between now and then."
"And here I was going to use our off day on Monday to catch my limit of walleyes and bringing some to feed your family," Bremer responded. "But not any longer."
The two also reminisced about the Metrodome, which had a giant concrete beam in the middle of the Twins broadcast booth. Bremer recalled that during one game, Al Kaline, who stands at 6-foot-4, had difficulties with the beam.
"He stood up leaning forward and hit his head on the bottom of this massive beam in the TV booth," Bremer recalled. "In each case, it buckled him and he nearly knocked himself out."
Morneau, whose career was cut short due to concussion issues, had a humorous response.
"Well if that was me, I would have been on the broadcaster's [injured list]."
Finally, Morneau recalled the story of his first career home run, which came at Kaufmann Stadium back in 2003.
"My first home run wasn't seen by anyone in my family," Morneau recalled. "It was only seen by one of my friends...I left him tickets and somehow his seat was about as high up in the upper deck as you can get. That was back when I didn't understand the different sections of where tickets were left and that kind of stuff. He still remembers it though."
"Wasn't that the one that landed in the player's parking lot?" Bremer asked.
"Yeah, it landed on Joe Randa's car." Morneau replied.
After three and a half hours, Morneau and Bremer completed the broadcast and likely enjoyed a left-handed toast with a beverage that "Flash" Gordon would approve of.