Blair Anderson is a Vikings superfan who convinced Bring Me The News to give him a blog. We did, and now, as was not expected, he's writing Grinch-themed, mythical Vikings-Packers stories.
Everyone loves a good Christmas story and as much as I wanted to turn tonight's matchup between the Minnesota Vikings and Green Bay Packers into The Grinch that Stole Christmas...well, I was informed that was copyright infringement, so we had to go another route.
But if there is one team that represents The Grinch, it's those slimy Packers, in fact it's a cinch! For everyone in Minnesota liked the Vikings a lot, but those Cheeseheads from the East absolutely do not. They hated the Vikings. No matter the season. Please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
Perhaps it's because they're not as great as they think they are with their four Super Bowls. Or they realize they actually aren't owners, something that everybody knows.
But as they waved their paper that says "Packer ownership stock," something seemed wrong as they upgraded their high school stadium a lot. So they came to The Bank with their sour Grinchy frowns as the purple lights beamed down as the Packers came to town.
The Viking fans were there, every girl and boy, as they packed U.S. Bank Stadium to bring all of the noise. The purple filled the building, row by row as they blew their Gjallarhorn and yelled "SKOL!!!"
Aaron Rodgers came to the field in a sleigh, pulled by his coach Matt (LeFleur that is) as Mike Zimmer sent the defense to blitz through the double A-gaps! Rodgers was knocked on his back as he flinched with fright, he looked around for a flag, but there wasn't one in sight.
He pleaded with the ref because he was being hit too hard. Then he shook with fear over the sight of Anthony Barr.
As the Packers offense was shut down on the cusp of winning the division. I can't think of anything that rhymes, so let's talk about the Vikings offense.
With Kevin Stefanski calling the plays and Cousins throwing it deep, Diggs and Thielen racked up the yards and put Jaire Alexander to sleep. As for the running game, the offensive line made plenty of room for Mike Boone to get the rock and deliver the boom!
The Packers were shaking as the Vikings enjoyed their feast. Danielle Hunter hit Rodgers a couple of times too, oh my, what a beast! They ran out of The Bank and back home to Green Bay for the mighty Vikings had helped save the day.
The fans in the stands went home with the division in their grasp. That is if the Lions could kindly pull their heads out of their ass.
Welcome to the playoffs where all of us stand and seriously, it would be a great Christmas if the Vikings could just win this game. (Again, it didn't rhyme, but copyright infringement.)