Ask Wessel: Halloween Edition

Dana weighs in on the best Halloween candy and breaks up with "The Walking Dead."

Every Friday on Dana Wessel answers your questions. Music, sports, pop culture, whatever you want. Have a question? You can tweet them to @DanaWesselor email him at

Q: I have been in this relationship for seven years, but I think I have had enough. It started out so fun and enjoyable and it made me so happy. But the last few years have been rough. I tried to deny it at first, pretend the obvious problems weren’t there. But I have simply had enough. Dana, how do I breakup with The Walking Dead? - Andrea

First of all, I am glad you came to me, Andrea. There is a whole group of us who have found the strength to leave ugly relationships with that vomit pile of a television program. It isn’t a good show. It never really has been outside of the first season. Time to tell that show goodbye and move on to better shows that treat you well, Andrea.

Breaking up with shows is an odd concept. I have been in bad show relationships before. Lost and How I Met Your Mother both come to mind. It becomes like any real life relationship where you have put in so much time that you just want things to work out. You want there to be the happy ending because you don’t want to admit the whole thing has turned into a waste of time.

But sometimes it’s best to just punt and live to fight another day, especially in the television world we live in. It isn’t like this is 1979 and your choices are Fantasy Island or CHIPS. We live in the golden era of entertainment. It is almost too much. I get anxiety over the stuff I haven’t gotten to yet. So why waste your time watching close-ups of Rick’s annoying pale face? Just wait until you see on Twitter that Carl finally dies then just YouTube that scene over and over until you run out of data. That is honestly the only good reason to still watch that crap.

Q: I hate Halloween but my girlfriend loves it. This year she is dragging me to a party. What is the easiest costume I can put together without spending any money? - Matt

Just go in your street clothes and tell people you dressed as a killjoy that can’t walk into Ragstock and spend $20 on a costume to make his girlfriend happy for a night.

Q: Top five Halloween candies to find in your loot sack? - Dan

  1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Pumpkins
  2. An early batch of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Christmas Trees
  3. Leftover Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Eggs from Easter
  4. Leftover Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Hearts from Valentine’s Day
  5. Standard Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

Reese’s are the best. We have long established that. But for whatever reason the holiday ones are even better. I wish somebody would do a study into why. I think it’s because they are so much thicker and have more peanut buttery goodness.

Q: What is everyone going to bitch about once the election is over? - Chris

You think the bitching is going to stop just because we all voted and elected the next President? Oh, Chris, how I long to view the world through your childlike goggles. You think either side is just going to say “Great election, rival party! I look forward to the rematch!” Oh, Chris, Chris, Chris. No matter what happens, people won’t be done talking and complaining about this for a very, very long time. Or ever.

Q: Best Vine of all time? - Emily

Oh, so many to choose from. But this was the first one that came to mind when I heard about Vine.

Just so classic. Part of me wants to know some backstory/see what happened next. But a bigger part of me think it’s beautiful and perfect the way it is.

I found the Vine thing surprising just like everybody else. I never really used Vine but I sure appreciated the people that did and made some hilarious sh*t on a platform with ridiculously tight restrictions, which was probably a big part of its final undoing.

But the biggest takeaway from the sudden Vine death is just how fleeting this stupid social media stuff really is. I am just as bad as anybody when it comes to caring WAY too much about Twitter than I probably should. We all care too much about social media. We all put way too much stock in validation from strangers in the form of ‘Likes’ and ‘Retweets.’ It’s important to remember that Zuckerberg or Twitter Zuckerberg (Jack or something?) can pull the plug on the whole thing and all the Internet Cool Points you racked up while be wiped away.

Then we’ll just be left with the relationships and friendships we’ve made in real life….where we’ll obviously all sit at the end of the bar searching for the bottom of the bottle while swapping stories about the time our tweets went viral or our status got hella likes.

Q: HOW DO PEOPLE SPELL THE ABBREVIATED FORM OF "USUAL"? Dana this is my Ask Wessel question - Liz

Oh, wow. I never thought of that before. It’s an abbreviation we all use in conversation, especially when making small talk with someone you don’t wanna be talking to. “What’s new?” “Oh, you know, the (abbreviated short form of usual).” But I can’t think I have ever even considered spelling it out.

Ushe, I guess? I dunno. That kinda looks like the E would be silent and would just be pronounced “Ush.”

Does it start with a Y? Yushe, perhaps? Maybe toss a Z in there? Yuzhe? I dunno. I feel like if I spent more time paying attention in English class and had a better grasp of the language I could solve this. I say we go with Yuzhe just because it looks cool.

Q: Agree with Duck Tales being one of the best NES games ever. But what is up with the Money Bin in that show? I don’t want to tell a rich man what to do with his money (I had to check my bank account to see how much gas I could put in my tank) but don’t you think there might have been a better strategy? - Mike

You mean a giant building with a money sign on the side wasn’t the most advantageous place to store your money? Yeah, that part of the show kinda stopped making sense once you hit your first double-digit birthday. Who was Uncle Scrooge’s financial investor? Don’t you think he would have invested that money somewhere? But, for anyone who watched the show, you know Uncle Scrooge wasn’t the brightest duck. He was routinely getting bailed out by his 10-year nephew ducks. It’s amazing he was able to build up that fortune in the first place. Huey, Dewey and Louie better have gotten one hell of an inheritance when that duck flew to the great north in the sky.

Q: Why can’t adults go trick or treating? I love Halloween candy and hate I can’t go trick or treating anymore. Shouldn’t there be an adult trick or treating? - Kristen

Um, there already is. Buy some booze, some bags of candy and call all your friends. You stay inside and don’t have to knock on strangers’ doors. There are certain holidays that are better when you’re a kid, but Halloween isn’t one of them.

Alright, that’ll do it for this week! Let’s all raise a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and cheers to the Halloween weekend! Stay safe out there everybody.

Keep your questions coming to @DanaWessel on Twitter, in the comments section below or email them to

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