Ask Wessel: Shorts weather begins at what temperature? - Bring Me The News

Ask Wessel: Shorts weather begins at what temperature?

Plus: Jeopardy intros, pizza toppings, and headbands.
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Every Friday on GoMN.com Dana Wessel answers your questions. Music, sports, pop culture, whatever you want. Have a question? You can tweet them to @DanaWessel or email him at Dana@GoMN.com. You can read the Ask Wessel archives here.

Q: I am going to GoFest on Sunday. Will you think I am awkward if I come in for a bro-hug when I see you? I have never met you but you seem like you're down with bro-hugs - Jake

Hell no that won't be awkward! I love me a good bro-hug. Especially during moments of celebration and exuberance. GoFest '17 is going to be a blast. We’ve put on some big parties before, but this one will be the best one yet. Hope to see everyone there. Tickets are just $29.96. Music starts at 1 p.m. so you still have plenty of time to wake up at the cabin on Sunday morning and make it back to the Twin Cities.

Bring on the bro-hugs!

Q: You’ve said you already own a SNES and all the games included on the upcoming SNES Classic. What is the appeal then of getting a Classic version of those old consoles you already own? - Ryan

Long answer short: because I am a Nintendo Fanboy and Shigeru Miyamoto owns my soul.

Although the funny (or sad!) thing is that not only do I own an SNES and all those cartridges, but I also hacked my NES Classic and have already added all 20 of the games on the new one. But I am enough of an OG Nintendo fanboy that I will happily wait in line and plunk down $79.99 for the SNES Classic. Never-before-released Star Fox II?!? C’mon! I have a sickness, I know.

Couple cool features this time around. The cords are five feet long rather than the tiny ass three foot cords on the NES Classic. Also, you get two controllers right out of the box so you can immediately begin jeopardizing friendships with intense Mario Kart battles right away.

20 games (21 including Star Fox II which you have to unlock) is kind of a bummer. There are some obvious titles missing. Chrono Trigger, Pilotwings, Sim City, Zombies Ate My Neighbors and Teenage Mutant Turtles IV: Turtles in Time.

It will be interesting to see if Nintendo safeguards this one from being hacked into like the NES Classic. There are people who have added over 1,000 games on theirs. Can’t imagine that sat well with Nintendo.

As far as availability, Nintendo said they will increase production of this one from the NES Classic. But do you really believe them? It’s Nintendo. They love playing the scarcity game. Also, if you read between the lines, it looks like they will only be making these through the end of the year. So I’d preorder it as soon as you can.

Q: Question for next Ask Wessel: if you were to appear on Jeopardy, what little story/fact would you want Alex Trebek to ask you about when he chats with the contestants? - Tim

This is a tough one. So many choices. You want it to be memorable. I once asked a former contestant about the process. You apparently give the producers a bunch of anecdotes and Alex picks the one he finds most interesting. So you don’t get to pick the exact story you want to tell. It is all up to Alex. That’s why sometimes you see a contestant stumble a bit before they realize what Alex is talking about.

Here are some things I’d hope Alex brings up…

  • “So Dana, I understand you once ate so many buffalo wings on a date you ended up throwing up? Tell me about that.”
  • “Dana I see you once had an incident at the St Cloud Granite City Food and Brewery. Any idea if the lifetime ban is still being upheld?”
  • "I didn’t realize we were in the presence of greatness, Dana. I just learned that by watching an entire season of Sopranos on DVD in one sitting in 2004 you actually invented binge watching?”
  • “Dana, I see you once had a feud with Kirstie Alley on Twitter. Care to rip her again on national television?”
  • "I hear we have a sports visionary on our hands. Dana, tell us what went into you and your friend Sharkman inventing Roof Ball?”

Q: I'm really hungry and stuck in a boring meeting right now, so I'm day dreaming about food. What are the best toppings to put on a pizza? - Gina

I like to keep it simple when it comes to pizza. Pizza rules. There is no need to overthink things. I don’t need taco pizza or pineapple or breakfast pizza or any of that other trendy crap. Keep. It. Simple. Pepperoni and sausage. Maybe some onions and peppers if you’re feeling cocky. But that’s about where I draw the line.

Q: What's with the headband? Fashion or function? - Nathan

I just think it looks cool. If you’ve never met me or seen pictures on social media, I wear a rolled up bandana every day. I am a big Bruce Springsteen fan and that is my favorite Bruce look ever. 1980s, cutoff jean jacket, tank top, bandana. It started as an homage to Bruce and then turned into something I wear every day. I hate brushing or styling my hair so it is just easier to just spike it up through a bandana.

I am sure I will look back at pictures someday and cringe, but whatever. I think there is only one rule when it comes to fashion. If it makes you feel cool and confident, rock it. Do you.

Q: How stoked are you for Foo Fighters? - Jack

So stoked. I got tickets to the show in Des Moines in November. I want summer to speed by so I can be in the presence of 15,000 other people with borderline weird obsessions with Dave Grohl. The only thing that I ask is that somebody wraps Dave in bubble wrap between now and November. No more broken legs, David! I want to see him sprinting down the ramp with his beautiful hair flowing behind him.

Q: Have you binge watched GLOW [on Netflix] already, if not do you plan to over the holiday weekend? - Pete

I have not, but I keep hearing nothing but great things about it. Totally gonna get down on that over the holiday weekend.

Q: What other fruit could Apple have used to name its tech giant? Why is pugilist such an underused word? Should we feel sorry for tree stumps? - Perk

  1. Maybe it is because we are so used to hearing Apple, but I don’t think there is another that comes close. Banana is too many syllables. Lemon has a negative connotation. Cherry? Kiwi? Maybe. Just don’t really have the same ring to it. Too bad Jobs and Woz didn’t just go totally off the board and go with Jujube or something.
  2. I think maybe because, while I know that a pugilist is a boxer, I have zero clue how to pronounce it. I know what it means when I am reading a story, but I’d be terrified to say the word out loud in front of people.
  3. Hmmmm. I am going to say no. I read The Giving Tree a lot as a kid and that tree was totally chill just being a stump for that dude to sit on. Just happy to help out.

Q: At which temperature is it OK to wear shorts? - Alex

Whenever you damn well please. I am the type of guy who runs hot, so I will break the shorts out any time it is over 50 degrees or so. I also have a hard and fast rule that once the shorts come out for the summer, they don’t go away. No bringing the jeans back once the shorts come out for the first time. I guess it helps that my job has a flexible dress code.

Also, as long as we are on the topic, I am all about that shorts and sport coat look that is happening. Do you know how many pairs of khakis I have destroyed with swass at humid summer weddings? No joke, I got home from a wedding a few summers ago that was so hot that I just tossed the khakis in the trash when I got home. There was no salvaging them. Bring on the shorts!

Q: Friend and I played Gauntlet at Up Down the other week. Loved it as a kid, thought it sucked as an adult. Any similar arcade experiences? - Rich

This is one of the drawbacks of the nostalgia phase we are currently living through. You oftentimes find out things you adored as a kid actually really suck. Movies, TV shows, video games, music. Happens all the time.

As far as arcade games, the original Mortal Kombat is nowhere near as cool as I thought it was as a kid. Same with the driving/shooting game Lucky and Wild. But then again, on the flip side, I thought Donkey Kong was stupid when I was a kid and now play it like 10 hours a week.

Q: Looking to go to Shotzzz later and probably need a good base before the White Eagle kicks in. What do we get for a food menu?! - Tre

In case you missed last week’s Ask Wessel, I came up with a concept for a college bar that is going to make me rich.

“We call the place Shotzzz or something equally douchey. The only beers will be domestic lights. The only liquor will be rail everything. Oh, you’d like to see our vodka menu? Here it is. Karkov, Skol, White Eagle, Aristocrats, and Glen’s. If a bottle of booze isn’t plastic, it won’t be served at Shotzzz. We won’t even have Red Bull. We’ll have that generic energy drink you see always see at the gas station on special that is clearly on the verge of being banned by the FDA. These are college kids. Their bodies can handle it.”

As far as food goes? It’s going to be just like the drink menu. Couple pizza ovens to cook frozen pizzas. Jacks. We aren’t going to spring for Heggies for drunk college kids. We will also have an assortment of Pizza Rolls and Hot Pockets. Maybe a hot dog roller if we can get it for cheap. Want some finger foods? We will have Combos, Corn Nuts and Cheese Balls available in bowls for a couple bucks.

Can’t wait to see you all at Shotzzz!

Q: What would you do with a month of free time before you started a new job? - Dylan

Invest in Shotzzz so you never have to work another day in your life. Email me about investment opportunities!

Alright, that’ll do it for this week! Let’s all raise a tall glass of orange juice and toast to the weekend. Everybody have a fun, safe holiday weekend and hopefully I'll see a lot of you out at GoFest '17.

Keep your questions coming to @DanaWessel on Twitter, in the comments section below or email them to Dana@GoMN.com.

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