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Go ahead, have a little pun: Bull semen exporter wants your puns for 'bull-boards'


A Wisconsin-based bull semen exporter, which for years has drawn chuckles and groans with its pun-filled billboards on Interstate 94, is looking for new material.

You may have seen the wordplay of ABS Global, which calls itself a world leader in bovine genetics and reproductive services and technologies, on its double-sided "bullboard" near Madison:

"We deliver the male"

"Our genetics will improve your dairy heir"

"Don't have a cow without us"

"Don't udder anudder word, you had me at moo"

"Our sires do the lam-bull leap"

But writing all those witticisms is no easy milk run. The company has collected quite a catalogue of punny material over the years (click here for more of their work). Now they are looking for your help in a pun-writing contest.

Think you've got the chops to do a little ribbing?

Contest rules state that topics focus on ABS, dairy, or beef-related slogans, and a connection to these categories is encouraged: general, seasons, holidays, hunting, back to school and sports. Slogans are limited to 46 total characters or less, including spaces and hyphens. The deadline is March 31, with winners announced in May.

Company officials urge participants to keep it clean. A company spreadsheet that lists all the suggestions submitted over the years, from both employees and the company, has a "too risque" tab, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports.

"There's probably a good percentage of them that won't be able to leave my computer," ABS marketing specialist Jan Francois told the newspaper. "I can't even repeat them."

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