Dear fellow Americans, citizens of the United States, and football fans everywhere, BringMeTheNews has one thing to say about this Vikings-Giants game on Monday Night Football:
We're sorry. Seriously. On behalf of the entire state of Minnesota, we're sorry.
Sure, it seemed like a good idea at the time last spring to schedule a big Week 7 game on national television (albeit cable) between the Minnesota Vikings and the New York football Giants. The Vikes were coming off a 10-6 season and squeaked into the playoffs with the most exciting player in the game on their side.
The Giants were an admirable 9-7, missing the playoffs by a hair, but hey, they've still got a two-time Super Bowl MVP in Eli Manning, and hopes were high for another good run out of the Meadowlands.
As CBS New York points out, the Giants (0-6) and Vikings (1-4) have been two of the biggest disappointments this season. New York is three losses away from tying its worst start, and Minnesota is heading in the wrong direction, too.
But, hey, we've felt pain before.
But this time it's different. For instance, this has been tweeted and retweeted ...
And it's been compared to Dec. 15, 1975, when the Jets (3-9) visited the San Diego Chargers (1-11) and had combined .167 winning percentage -- the worst Monday night matchup until now.
Then again, this list of doozies proves that Monday Night Football can be as awful as a root canal. (And note that both the Vikings and the Giants are on the wrong end of the biggest lopsided games.)
It's embarrassing, enough to turn our ugly mugs purple.
Did we say we're sorry? Because we are.
Even Eli Manning is being a downy-clowny about the game, but tries to put on this brave face to CBS New York:
“It’s not what I would have thought to start to go into this game, obviously, for us or them,” said Manning, who has thrown eight of his league-high 15 interceptions in the fourth quarter. “I think they’re obviously a very talented team and have a lot of good players. It’s tough sometimes to get wins and each game is a battle and you have to play quality football to win in the NFL."
Oh, sure, there's a plot line involving Josh Freeman's first start as a Viking, but we've seen so many QBs come and go over the last two decades that we know better than to be excited. And you should too.
Even ESPN's own game preview lists a comedy of potential errors, which is about the best we, the American Football Viewing Public, can hope for: Some good ol' fashion football slapstick.
Even former Viking greats Fran Tarkenton and Jim Marshall have been chagrined at how poorly this team has played.
So, might we suggest some alternate viewing of some sort? Isn't "The Bachelorette" on? Maybe Rupaul has something cooking on the Logo network? That one "Friends" episode you never saw the end of? That one with the monkey?
Those Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts are always pretty good as far as info-mercials go. There's always a "Golden Girls" marathon on someplace.
For the most part, us Minnesotans take a quiet pride in many things that are legit. Like that Prince guy is still pretty cool, and, hey, where would this great nation of ours be without Bob Dylan.
But truth be told, we don't really embarrass that easily. I mean, no one really knows what that whole Paul Bunyan/Babe the Blue Ox thing has to do with us, and the Minnesota Twins have a mascot, TC Bear, that might be the most inexplicable mascot in the history of sports (a guy dressed in a Siamese twin costume would be a more sensible choice.)
But this, well, whew. We just don't feel good about it. At all. And you think New York Giant fans are going to offer an apology? Fahgettaboudit.
So, with that, on behalf of all Minnesotans, we offer you, the American sporting public, a heartfelt apology.
The BringMeTheNews sports team.