Skip to main content
Updated:
Original:

BMTN predicts Lions-Vikings: Championship on the line

Author:

Time to channel the inner Bruce Buffer.

Good day ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the final installment of the Bring Me The News predictions segment of the 2013 NFL season.

In case you are new to the event, here are the rules and regulations.

Every week of the NFL regular season, BMTN sports aficionados have predicted the outcome of Vikings games in an elimination-style, hard-hitting slugfest of prognostication.

As the season wound down, the contenders began to fall.

First it was Doug Frattallone, disqualified for overwhelming evidence of predicto-fixing and steroid use.

Then it was Editor-In-Chief Amy Hockert, sports yes-man Mike Gallagher, sports director G.R. Anderson, all eliminated based on lack of merit and performance.

Now, after a two week extended break for the three remaining heavy hitters to be at their best in this final prediction segment with company supremacy, bragging rights, and the right to send someone to the roof to see if they can fly (still not sure if that part is true) on the line, IT'S TIME!

Introducing first in this triple-threat of prediction prolificness, he is a 30-year-old Chipotle-loving, protein shake-drinking house of pain..."JUICY" JOE NELSON.

The second contestant in this three-way battle royale of look-into-the-future greatness, he is a 35-year-old information and sports director at KMHL in Marshall, Minnesota, and one of the do-it-all, grind-it-out members of the BMTN night and weekend extravaganza...AARON "THE ANIMAL" ZIEMER.

And their opponent in this trifecta of terrific thoughts and thinking, he is between the ages of 30 and 60 years old, he has a face for both TV and radio, from BMTN morning sports, ERIC "THE ENIGMATIC PENDULUM" PERKINS.

When we proceed in the center of this triumvirate of triumph, the mediator in charge of the action, will be yours truly.

To the standings going into the final prediction.

STANDINGS (last week’s scores in parentheses):

Ziemer:17 (17)

Perkins: 11 (0)

Nelson: 6 (1)

Anderson: ELIMINATED

Hockert: ELIMINATED

Gallagher: ELIMINATED

Ziemer, despite picking the Ravens-Vikings game correctly in our last prediction week, had some weird poetry in his portion of the segment, so he is rewarded with nothing.

To make things interesting, this final game is worth triple the points, meaning anything is possible going into the Dome's final game.

Here we go.

NEWCOMER AARON ZIEMER: VIKINGS 27, LIONS 20

"Is there enough magic left in the Metrodome for one final memory? Could Matt Cassel and the Vikings conjure up one final win to send the Teflon covered stadium to its final rest on a positive note? The stadium which has been the home to such heart break as the 1998 NFC Championship, also has been the home to many great memories. None of us will forget Kirby Puckett in Game 6 of the 1991 World Series. Anyone who has seen the dome empty knows the legend of the Golden Seat which was located in the left center field stands. Thousands of high school and college student athletes have their own memories, winning everything from state titles in football, to playing early season baseball games on the surface of the dome. It won't be on the level of Cris Carter's 1000th reception actually being a touchdown, or Blair Walsh booting the Vikings to an improbable upset of the Green Bay Packers to get them into the playoffs, but I think there's enough magic left in the dome for the Vikings to finish the collapse of the Motor City Kitties this year."

Ziemer is a bit sentimental, and is clearly going for the win in big time fashion with a rambling diatribe that should it be correct, would yield huge points.

Could it be the dagger?

MORNING SPORTS VOICE ERIC PERKINS: VIKINGS 28, LIONS 27

"Chase Ford on the game-winner."

A slightly different strategy from Perk. Short, sweet, to the point, with a selfie.

NIGHT SPORTS GUY JOE NELSON: VIKINGS 38, LIONS 10

"The Lions will be at the game, but they won't play like they want to save head coach Jim Schwartz's job. That paves the way for a big day for the Vikings as they blast the Lions, 38-10... but nobody cares about that. The long-awaited storming of the field will take place just before the final snap of the game, and all 700 cops and security personnel will file a report on the drunk rube they arrested."

Nelson going with a massive point differential, and should that hit, it may be enough to claw him out of the cellar and to the top of the future-thinking world.

We'll have to wait until Sunday to see who the one great football prognosticating mind is, until then, warm your heart with some Metrodome memories.

Huh, we could've sworn more things happened than that. Oh well. Metrodome: BYYEEE.

Next Up

Kirill Kaprizov

2nd period surge leads Wild to fourth straight win

With three goals in the second, the Wild blasted the last-place Coyotes.

Gopher Basketball / R.J. Stephens

Late-tip in helps Gophers pass first big test, improve to 6-0

Luke Loewe's bucket with 2.4 seconds remaining helped the Gophers stay undefeated.

ambulance

Man, 40, found dead stuck in air duct at his Otter Tail Co. home

The discovery was made by family members Monday morning.

Biden Minnesota visit stream screengrab - 11.30.31

What Biden said during his visit to Minnesota Tuesday

The president spoke at Dakota County Technical College.

Grand Marais

Cook County registers its first COVID-19 death of the pandemic

The sparsely populated, highly-vaccinated county has continuously had one of the lowest rates of COVID in the state.

Waits family screengrab CNN

Support for MN family after anti-maskers target child of school board chair

An online group opposing Kelsey Waits outed the child as transgender.

Pixabay - school - classroom

St. Paul schools add 2 days to winter break due to pandemic stress

The added days off are meant to acknowledge the stress the pandemic has caused.

Fardoussa Abdillahi

Charges: St. Cloud mother killed baby, placed him in dumpster

The 4-month-old baby was found by officers on Sunday morning.

ambulance

1 dead in crash at Lake Street intersection in south Minneapolis

There have been 465 deaths on Minnesota roads this year, according to the state's traffic division.

robbery

St. Paul restaurateur's businesses burglarized a 6th time

The owner of The Gnome and Hope Breakfast Bar is asking politicians to help St. Paul business owners.

North Memorial Air Care

Teen suffers life-threatening injuries in head-on crash in southern MN

The 18-year-old was airlifted to a Mayo Clinic hospital in Rochester.

foo fighters grohl mr rossi wikimedia

Foo Fighters abruptly cancel Gophers stadium show hours after announcing it

The band is looking for a new venue because of a disagreement over COVID protocols.

Related