It's hard to pick on someone who's down with a cause as important as "Movember" where dudes around the world grow mustaches to raise awareness for prostate cancer and other uniquely male ills.
Still, there's some pretty silly string sprouting on some fairly virginal upper lips out there, and your 2013 Minnesota Vikings are no exception. Thanks to Vikings.com, we can now deliver progress reports – complete with photos – on some of the hometown Purple.
Yes, ladies, try to contain yourselves.
Before we go any further, it must be noted that sports and mustaches go together like ham and eggs, or peanut butter and jelly, or Lindsey and Tiger. There is, in fact, so much history to comb through in the wide world of sporty cookie dusters that we had to give it a little shave – only football facials here.
The Bleacher Report, Business Insider, Sports Illustrated.com, Total Pro Sports, and Buzzfeed helped us find some of the best lip upholstery in the history of sports. With all apologies to Ned Flanders.
First up, from your Vikings, placekicker Blair Walsh:
Not a bad start, young man, but you have a ways to go before you catch up to the Chiefs' head coach Andy Reid:
Here's running back Toby Gerhart:
We can see that turning into something more like this, from five-time Pro Bowl punter Scott Player:
Speaking of punters, here's Jeff Locke:
Dude, does that even count? Maybe you need some Mo-tivation, like this old cover of Conrad Dobler:
That'll toughen everyone up. Though Matt Kalil seems to have the Dobler down:
Whoa, that's looking eerily similar to old Broadway Joe:
Next up for your Purple, Rhett Ellison:
Hey, we recognize that! He's going for the Ditka! You like your coach with or without a home perm?
We could make a joke about Matt Cassel leaving something open in the middle, but we won't:
You know, here's how an elite quarterback does it:
Tight end John Carlson ...
... could perhaps draw some inspiration from his own locker room:
Main secret is to just let it grow, bro, and man up for Movember.