Proof that God hates the Vikings

This has been a season from hell for the Vikings.
Author:
Updated:
Original:

The Vikings have gone 3-13 twice in their history (1984 and 2011), never finishing worse. Then of course, the four Super Bowl losses and seemingly endless collapses in NFC Championship games are also lowlights.

There was the Love Boat in 2005, Dwight Smith fornicating in a Minneapolis stairwell in 2006 ...

It's nonstop around here. But have the Vikings ever witnessed a string of horrible luck like this year's team?

I don’t know what it is but somebody’s really taken a piss on us this year.

Can we blame Blair Walsh? He's the one who started rolling the 2016 snowball from hell when he shanked a 27-yard field goal to knock the Vikings out of the playoffs.

But this is a new season. And thank the heavens for summer because that's the only break from football apocalypse the Vikings have had.

According to Vikings reporter Chris Tomasson, left guard Alex Boone literally said this: "I don’t know what it is but somebody’s really taken a piss on us this year."

Here's what we've been through:

  • July 25: Phil Loadholt retires from Achilles pain.
  • July 30: Mike Harris is placed on the non-football injury list with an illness.
  • Aug. 30: John Sullivan is cut by the Vikings, never making it back from multiple back surgeries.
  • Aug. 31: Teddy Bridgewater's knee explodes during practice.
  • Sept. 3: Vikes trade their 2017 first-round pick and 2018 fourth-round pick for Sam Bradford.
  • Sept. 18: Adrian Peterson tears a meniscus against the Packers.
  • Sept. 21: Matt Kalil is placed on injured reserve.
  • Sept. 22: Sharrif Floyd has another knee surgery.
  • Sept. 23: Adrian Peterson goes on injured reserve.
  • Oct. 11: Andre Smith tears his triceps and goes on injured reserve.
  • Oct. 31: Mike Zimmer, somehow, scratches his eye during a Halloween loss to Chicago.
  • Nov. 1: Mike Zimmer has a procedure done to fix a torn retina.
  • Nov. 2: Offensive coordinator Norv Turner up and quits.
  • Nov. 7: Vikings lose fourth straight game, blowing it against Detroit.
  • Nov. 8: Mike Zimmer gets more needles stuck in his eye for a second procedure.
  • Nov. 13: Left tackle Jake Long tears his Achilles in the final moments of a loss to the Redskins.
  • Nov. 15: Blair Walsh gets cut after missing more kicks.
  • Nov. 24: Vikings ruin Thanksgiving with a critical loss to Detroit.
  • Nov. 30: Mike Zimmer needs emergency surgery to take care of a detached retina.

This season, without a doubt, is a season from hell.

And it's a miracle the Vikings are in playoff contention this late in the season.

Next Up

Jaden McDaniels

Wolves lose to Magic on Cole Anthony's buzzer-beater

The Wolves blew a 20-point lead as the Magic defeated the Timberwolves on Wednesday night.

J.A. Happ

Twins sign veteran J.A. Happ to add to the rotation

The left-hander will get a one-year, $8 million deal from the Twins.

storm the capitol rally st. paul minnesota state capitol

BCA finds 'no criminal wrongdoing' among those at 'Storm the Capitol' rally

Inflammatory comments were made by speakers, but no charges will be brought.

Screen Shot 2021-01-18 at 12.27.04 PM

Man's vehicles crushed by hit-and-run driver weren't fully insured

The goal is to raise $25,000 to help the south Minneapolis resident.

Joe Biden

Key points from Joe Biden's first speech as POTUS

The 46th president called for unity at a time America is facing huge challenges.

coronavirus, covid-19

Here is Minnesota's COVID-19 update for Wednesday, January 20

The 111 ICU patients is the fewest in Minnesota since there were 109 COVID patients in intensive care on Oct. 1.

Klobuchar

Here's what Amy Klobuchar said at Joe Biden's inauguration

The Minnesota senator was one of the leader organizers of the inauguration.

covid-19, vaccine

All of this week's COVID vaccine pilot program appointments are filled

Nearly 6,000 Minnesotans who are 65 and older registered for appointments between noon Tuesday and Wednesday morning.

Lane kueng thao chauvin

Osterholm affidavit ahead of George Floyd trial warns of COVID worsening in March

Prosecutors want to delay the Chauvin trial due to a public health threat.

Related

Proof that God hates the Vikings

This has been a season from hell for the Vikings.

What's wrong with the Vikings?

The Vikings are a long way from the team that started the season 5-0 after another ugly road loss.

What's wrong with the Vikings?

The Vikings are a long way from the team that started the season 5-0 after another ugly road loss.

Zimmer will not coach Vikings after surgery for detached retina

Zimmer underwent emergency surgery last night to repair a detached retina.

Zimmer will not coach Vikings after surgery for detached retina

Zimmer underwent emergency surgery last night to repair a detached retina.

Greenway got emotional in what might have been his final locker room speech

Chad Greenway has spent his entire career with the Vikings and Sunday's season finale against the Bears might have been his last hurrah.

Greenway got emotional in what might have been his final locker room speech

Chad Greenway has spent his entire career with the Vikings and Sunday's season finale against the Bears might have been his last hurrah.

Pro Football Focus sums up bad Vikings offensive line

"It's no secret that the Vikings' offensive line has struggled badly."