At least all of our predictors can say they're better than that bleak record that belongs to the 2013 Minnesota Vikings.
We come to you early this week, as will your Vikings, with their Thursday clash with the Redskins being their fourth-ever Thursday night game.
They're 0-3 on in the previous three. Sweet.
BringMeTheNews prognosticators hope to avoid the same fate the Vikings have had when Thursday comes around, and they all have nice to wins to build on this past week, except one.
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer had what we'll call a lapse in judgement, picking Minnesota to beat Dallas 27-23.
While he was wrong, that was the right score, and major points are awarded for picking exactly what kind of game it would be, as well as Minnesota almost pulling it off. It's not as bad as it appears for Ziemer.
Not surprisingly, not a single other BMTN predict-o-lantern said Minnesota would beat Dallas, so points will be passed around by the plenty.
Here are this week's standings (last week's scores in parentheses):
Anderson: 3 (2)
Ziemer: 0 (-1)
Hockert: -1 (-1)
Nelson: -2 (-3)
Perkins: -4 (-4)
Gallagher: -4 (-5)
No one aside from Ziemer was ridiculously close to the correct score, so scoring is low this week, but everyone is a winner, with one point each. Hooray for everyone winning, let's all go get ice cream.
Morning sports voice Eric Perkins and Editor-in-Chief Amy Hockert return from bye weeks. For Hockert, she should be well rested, having not predicted in a month.
Sports Director G.R. Anderson: Too early in week.
Anderson doesn't actually become a productive member of society until Thursdays, so this prediction week has bypassed him. We're not even sure if he really knows the game is going on.
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer: Vikings 24, Redskins 13
"This is finally the week. A complete Vikings victory from out of the depths of nothingness. Jared Allen records three sacks, and Litchfield native John Carlson catches a touchdown pass."
We're pretty sure this is the last time he's scored a touchdown.
Well that video is kind of far away, so we can't even be sure that's actually him.
Editor-in-Chief Amy Hockert: No one 28, Vikings 10
"So offended by their own name, the Redskins refuse to take the field... and win."
Morning sports voice Eric Perkins: Vikings 30, Redskins 14
"A second half brings a clean slate. And the Vikings become Dr. Jekyll... or is it Mr. Hyde? I always get those confused. But frankly, I'm not even sure that's a good metaphor. Or is it analogy. I always get those confused. Never mind."
Best prediction of the year for Perkins, he may get points even if Washington wins by 40.
Night sports guy Joe Nelson: Redskins 30, Vikings 17
"The Vikings don't beat quarterbacks with mobility. RGIII still isn't the same since tearing his ACL late last season, but he still has more mobility than the average QB. Minnesota has struggled against the likes of Cam Newton and Russell Wilson the last two seasons, and even guys like Aaron Rodgers and Andrew Luck, who can keep the play alive, have torched the Vikings. I have Washington beating the battered Vikings."
Yeah, just look how fast RGIII is.
Sports yes-man Mike Gallagher: Redskins 36, Vikings 17
Yes, this is the exact score of the Purple's Thursday defeat last year to the Bucs. The Bucs were two games below .500, Washington is two games below .500. Doug Martin rushed for 135 yards, Alfred Morris will do the same. Josh Freeman, yes, that Josh Freeman, threw for three touchdowns, so will RG3. Michael Vick, Cam Newton, RG3, speed kills the Purple, it will again. The latest Viking injury will be GM Rick Spielman, as he is pummeled by the Wilfs in the parking lot after the game."
Here's video of that classic Vick run against Minnesota.
Here's RG3 against Minnesota last year.
If the Purple lose, at least it will be exciting.