It's getting ugly on the field for the Minnesota Vikings, and for predict-aholics here at Bring Me The News, things aren't looking much better.
Here are last week's picks, in which only Newcomer Aaron Ziemer prognosticated the Panthers downing the Vikings.
Even Ziemer, however, couldn't have predicted the sheer dominance and destruction Carolina levied on the punchless purple Sunday.
He didn't need to though, with every other BMTN'er that actually participated last week coming up on the wrong end of their predictions, which were as misguided as the Vikings themselves.
Closed circuit to Sports Director GR Anderson and Editor-in-Chief Amy Hockert, you will not be penalized last week for not predicting, but sleep lighter knowing that the wrath of the independent scoring system that I have nothing to do with will drop the anvil shall it happen again.
Here's this week's standings, with last week's scores in parentheses, we're sorry everyone that isn't Ziemer, you simply have to be better.
Here are your updated standings (last week's score in parentheses):
Anderson: 4 (4)
Gallagher: 1 (2)
Ziemer: 1 (-2)
Perkins: 0 (2)
Hockert: -1 (-1)
Nelson: -8 (-4)
Perkins said the Vikings would win by 26, Nelson said 21, and Gallagher 10, though Gallagher did say the Panthers may have a shot. Well done sir, well done.
Here are this week's predictions.
Editor-in-chief Amy Hockert: Once again refuses to predict
"I'll start predicting again when this...
Is greater than the likelihood of this."
Sports Director GR Anderson: Vikings 34, Giants 31
"You know who's going to have a big game? Eli Manning. You know why? He's due. And you know why? The Vikings have no defense to speak of. Four touchdowns for Manning the Younger, but Vikes pull out a 34-31 win."
Eli is neither the better of the two brothers, nor the funnier.
Morning drive voice Eric Perkins: Giants 31, Vikings 30
"Blair Walsh misses a 70-yard field goal WIDE as time expires." (LOL, but he will get it there, classic).
Newcomer Aaron Ziemer: Giants 27, Vikings 17
"Another stellar Monday night game between two teams that have combined for a 1-10 record on the season. Eli Manning sparks a Giant comeback, as he throws three touchdowns in the fourth quarter to lift the Giants to the victory. Josh Freeman throws more interceptions than Manning in his Vikings debut, and the Vikings plummet into desolation continues. On a related note, a yard sign goes up in front of Leslie Frazier's home.... saga to be continued next week."
Night sports guy Joe Nelson: Giants 41, Vikings 35
"Josh Freeman throws for three touchdowns and no interceptions and ESPN's cameras catch Christian Ponder packing a suitcase on the sideline. While Ponder's flagging down a taxi, Eli Manning throws for four touchdowns, including the game winner to Rueben Randle with 18 seconds left in the game."
Here's the strangest and most pointless video of how to catch a cab. Suggestion to Ponder, try to stay in it for two seconds without moving your feet, you always struggled with that in the pocket.
Sports yes-man Mike Gallagher: Vikings 35, Giants 31
"Awful lot of specific predictions this week. 18 seconds left? Three fourth quarter TDs? Pigs flying? My head is spinning. In what may be my most serious prediction of the year, the Vikings go into the Meadowlands and come out with a victory. No matter how bad they've been in the past, it seems like they always find a way to come out of New York with a victory. OK, except 41-0 in 2000. My Josh Freeman jersey is in the mail, along with my Teddy Bridgewater jersey for next year. My Christian Ponder jersey is currently on fire on my wood deck. I better go check on that."
Here's that entire 41-0 game to remind you that indeed, Minnesota was never really that close to a Super Bowl in 2000.
Hockert with a bold move to once again shirk the predictions. This is discouraging, more discouraging than returning a recovered fumble to the wrong end zone, but who would do that?