Updated:
Original:

Vikings come in at No. 5 in NFL 'Pain Rankings'

Author:

Patrick Swayze, rest his soul, was flat out wrong when he said "pain don't hurt" in the 1989 film "Roadhouse."

Clearly, Swayze, er, Dalton in the film, wasn't a Vikings fan. These hurt:

  • Jim Marshall ran the wrong way
  • Brett Favre threw across his body
  • Drew Pearson pushed off
  • 41-donut
  • Loveboat
  • The Herschel Walker trade
  • Four Super Bowl losses
  • 1998

None of the above will leave you with butterflies in your stomach. All of the above will make your gut twist and turn until you feel like vomiting. And so goes the life of a Vikings fan.

To commemorate those cringe-inducing moments NFL.com is unveiling its "Pain Rankings." Somehow, there are four teams that have endured more suffering than the Vikings, who came in at No. 5 on the list.

Anyway, Vikings fans understand what all of the above means. We could go into detail re-telling the stories of four Super Bowl losses in an eight-year span or how something called Kerry Collins threw for 381 yards and 5 touchdowns in the NFC Championship Game or how Gary Anderson flipped the script on his perfect season in 1998 and went wide left or how a bunch of players got caught having a sex party on a boat or how the Vikings gave their future to get Herschel Walker or how ... yeah, you get it.

Next Up

Anthony Edwards

Timberwolves smash Rockets in season opener

The Timberwolves showed they have plenty of firepower in a victory over Houston.

Knuth - Nezhad - side by side

Frey challengers Knuth, Nezhad agree to rank each other 2nd

They're urging supporters to do the same on Nov. 2.

Jerome Horton - Sherburne Co. Jail - CROP

Charges: Man lied to buy gun later used by St. Paul mass shooting suspect

He's accused of making false statements during the purchase of a firearm.

Screen Shot 2021-06-04 at 6.30.24 AM

BCA releases investigative file in Winston Smith's shooting death

The file contains 1,000 pages of documents, hundreds of photos and dozens of audio files.

Slice

Fire at Mpls. pizza joint weeks after opening, owners suspect arson

The owners arrived at work Tuesday to find the building on fire.

vaccine, covid

New COVID charts show hospitalization, death rates based on vaccine status

The unvaccinated are far more likely than the fully vaccinated to become hospitalized or die.

Flickr - Superior National Forest Boundary Waters

White House begins process to ban new mining near BWCAW

The stated goal is to protect the "unique natural wonder" of the BWCAW.

Autumn Merrick, Autumn Rose Merrick

Man charged in shootout, crash that killed 18-year-old on scooter

Autumn Rose Merrick was with a friend near the Holiday gas station.

Related