World Cup Guy: U.S. soccer better be ready for some humble pie

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By: John Cosgrove, BringMeTheNews

John Cosgrove is an Ireland born Minnesotan teaching non-soccer nuts how to deal with the World Cup in real time. 

Only in the World Cup soccer tournament would any American care about their national futbol team. Why? It’s only the world’s largest event (think the Super Bowl – without the perks, times a million). Only in the World Cup would a nation as “powerful” in political terms face the anxiety of challenging Ghana, who has a GDP equivalent to New Hampshire. It’s 11 v 11 and for the first time in years, no one beyond hardcore US fans (last numbered around 347) knows who any of the 11 sporting the red, white and blue are.

None of that matters of course as the frat boys come out to play and jam into already capacity pubs such as Brits and the Local to chant U-S-A (you would think with a country of this magnitude that a new chant would be created) until they concede goal after goal and are beaten by a nation that doesn’t have the audacity to make up it’s own sport and call it a world series. The World Cup is played by the world and the United States better get ready to set aside its apple pie for some of the humble variety. However, soccer is a funny wee sport and no one can really predict what will happen (doesn’t stop some of us from trying). That is why we watch. The odds can be defied and the frat boys might just be outnumbered by more passive aggressive Minnesotan’s who will politely step aside as you attempt to catch a glimpse of the beautiful game. It could happen...

Read more of John's World Cup work at NoBollocks.com.

Top Five things to know about watching USA v Ghana World Cup Group match:

  1. If either team loses or draws, their chances of going through to the next round are zero
  2. Ghana beat the United States in the last World Cup to go to the Quarterfinals
  3. The use of the world Ghana to pun for Goner is already overused
  4. At least one idiot will say that the US should have picked Donovan for the game
  5. If you see someone in a Ghana shirt at Brits, by him or her a pint

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